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Personal Development

Keeping on with my theme of change and progression, I think I've gotten some points across about how personal development is important.

 But have you ever considered how important it is when you're in a relationship? As I mentioned in my Change 2.0 post, one of the recent developments as a result of moving into the next chapter of my life is beginning a new relationship.

 We're currently still in the "it's-so-cute-it-makes-you-puke" stage (at least if you're on the outside looking in). In sending some quotes and pictures back and forth, I received this one:

 "The greatest gift you can give to somebody is your own personal development. I used to say, 'if you will take care of me, I will take care of you.' Now I say, 'I will take care of me for you, if you will take care of you for me."
-Jim Rohn
Or:

"A man once asked his father, 'Father, how will I ever find the right woman?' His father replied, 'Forget finding the right woman, focus on being the right man."
-Unknown

What an interesting concept! And I was taken aback to receive this caliber of message from someone so new in my life. It got my thinking about my past relationships, and what patterns I noticed emerging from why they ended. 

I like to think that I am always progressing forwards, in perpetual motion, constantly evolving and learning new things and taking in new experiences. It's my way of trying to life live to the fullest, and constantly work on making myself a better person than I was yesterday. The last couple of relationships that come to mind, when I think about it, ended because my significant other of the time wasn't quite in the same state of mind. 

Looking back, I viewed them as content people, yes, but in their own bubble-world. Everything inside this bubble was good, and so there was no reason to change it. The problem with this bubble-world, is that eventually it's going to burst. Things can't stay the way they are now, forever. Something is going to give eventually. And when it pops, that's when it feels like the world is slipping out from under your feet. 

Believe me, I've been there. I tried staying in my bubble, thinking to myself, "it's going to all work out in the end." But it doesn't. Instead, I realized I wasn't happy at all, and felt like I was postponing life. I had stopped making progress. I wasn't going back to school like I had wanted to. I wasn't exercising like I wanted to. I wasn't living the life I wanted to. 

And when that bubble burst, it took me a long time to recover from learning that lesson. But in that moment, I knew I had to start making forward progress again. My boyfriend at the time, was still in his bubble. And starting to move forward again is what allowed me to accept the distance between us (emotional and physical) so I could carry on with my life.

Reading these quotes as I got them was...a breath of fresh air. This perspective of being the best person for yourself first, is only going to benefit you, and the people around you. Instead of thinking of relationships consisting of 2 halves coming together to make a whole, I look at relationships being 2 whole parts, coming together to be a sum greater than it's individual pieces. But you have to be whole on your own first, before you can be whole with someone else. 

Like the father said, focus on being the right 'you,' instead of finding the right 'them.' And then the right 'them' will come along when you're not even looking.




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