"If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude. Don't complain."
Such a simple concept. So difficult to embrace. Speaking to people about the times I've made big changes in my life, I can't count the number of times I've heard someone say, "wow, this is a big move! I could never do that," or "I can't imagine being brave enough to make that kind of change."
Based on my experience, I've found people over think these big changes. Don't get me wrong, I didn't make my big life changes on a whim, there may have been complications, or a lot in the way of logistics. Regardless of all that, I knew that whatever 'it' may be, it needed to happen. Change is progress. Postponing that change leaves you stagnant. Some take longer than others to figure this out, some never do.
Like Maya Angelou's quote above: if you don't like something change it. I can recall many examples of people who've complained about a situation in their life. Haven't we all? In many cases, whatever the complaint, that person has the power to make the change and create their own solution to the problem. Yet they don't. Why?
Yes it's hard, but eventually you get to a point where you have to stop talking about the change and just do it. What's worse? Making the effort to make the change that will result in a better, happier you? Or forcing yourself to go along with what already is, because that's the way it's been for so long?
Yes, there are some circumstances which negate the potential for change to happen. So, make the best of it! Stop being unwilling to change their attitude about the situation, as this tends to downward spiral into more negativity.
I've spoken to many friends and even strangers that have this perspective. I often hear that change is too hard, too much work. To me, NOT making the change is hard. It's hard to go day in and day out being in a situation that you are not happy in, dragging your heels, struggling to make it through the day. Why the self-punishment?
If I am not happy, I DO something about it. I find whatever I feel will make me happy, and I go for it. If I was ever unsure, all I did was look at myself and ask: is this the person I want to be? When the answer was no, I hung onto that! And did whatever I needed to do to get that answer changed back to a yes. I use this as my anchor to keep me focused on achieving my goal.
If we can't put the effort in for ourselves, how can we expect other people to? (You can only lead a horse to water...) Yes, change isn't easy, it's work, it's scary, it requires time and effort and planning. At the end of the day, at least you are accomplishing something.
My big changes so far:
Stopping Dance (see blog entry: "You Never Stop Being A Dancer")
Moving to Vancouver: A blog entry to come at some point I am sure. Cole's Notes: I planned, I packed my car, and drove to a province I'd never visited before. No family, no friends, just an apartment I had rented online. Was I scared? To death! But I made it. 4389 kilometers later.
Moving back from Vancouver: At one point I was considering a future of staying in Vancouver. While I was a little heartbroken to give that up, I knew moving home would be worth it. At the very least, after 3 years away, I had made lifelong friends
Going back to school: (see blog entry: "Returning to School") This was one of the goals I set for myself when I decided to move back from Vancouver. After not being in school for 4 years, it was a little daunting to go back. Four years of working full time, I had gotten used to having money for my bills, for going out, and having adventures. As it stands, I have no idea how I am going to make it work in the coming months. Having a support network (financial and otherwise) is the only way I know I will make it through.
At the end of the day, it will be the things you did, not the things you didn't do, that will shape your life's journey.
Remember, the best stories don't start with, "This one time, I didn't do..."
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